One year ago today I woke up in an uncomfortable detox unit bed in a drug rehab facility.
One year ago today I had just finished going through heroin withdrawals.
One year ago today I sat on the hallway floor rocking back and forth, begging to go home.
One year ago today my parents picked me up and I sat silently in the backseat, feeling more embarrassed and ashamed than I ever had in my entire life.
One year ago today I couldn’t bring myself to look my little sisters in the eyes.
One year ago today I laid in my bed wondering how my life had gotten to this point.
One year ago today I thought my entire life was over.
Today I woke up in my own bed and the first thing I saw was the ultrasound of the precious life inside me (oh yeah, I’m having a baby!). I got ready in my sweatpants with draw-strings (if you’ve ever been an addict/been to rehab, it’s kind of a big deal to have clothing with draw-strings). I drove two hours to visit with my sweet friend, the friend who visited me in rehab and has held me accountable (whether I liked it or not), the friend who pours into me the most and who today said yes to being my baby’s God-mother. I left with a full heart and went to Fairfax Hospital, the same rehab center I was discharged from one year ago today. I sat in the same chair I sat in while waiting to be admitted. I was thrown into the biggest hug from my favorite nurse turned friend turned Auntie Cassie to my sweet baby, the nurse who changed my life. I talked with her for a while, and was quickly reminded of just how loved I am. She’s the one who told me to “fight for myself” and a constant reason behind why I am happy to be alive today. I went home and was loved on by my family who chose to love and forgive me even though I gave them every reason not to.
Today I was reminded of all the reasons I have fought so hard for myself this past year. It hasn’t been easy. It’s been painful and heartbreaking. But man, has it been worth it.
Fight For Yourself. Always.
One thought on “A Year Can Change Everything.”
This is incredible. So happy for you!
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